Mom’s legacy
This week it’s been obvious to me the HUGE hole left in my
heart when my mom left this earth.
As my heart walks through the journey I made with my mom 9
years ago today, the memories flood my mind. I would fly back and forth from Texas to Alabama every week
going home for a few days at a time. I was so torn leaving my 5, 7, 9, 11, and
13-year-old children, but I couldn’t have imagined not taking care of mom. I
had to trust that God had my babies and He would protect them in my absence. And the gift of friendships He
gave me helped make my time away possible, knowing that David wouldn’t be alone
during this season and my children would have all the care they needed.
My time away didn’t include rest. The days were long and the nights even longer, emptying her
stomach bag, cleaning her up, holding her head while she vomited, endless ice
chips, feeding her popsicles and smoothies that we tried to get in her for
nourishment (I remember begging her to eat), singing to her (not like the angels
she is with now), reading the Word to her, praying with her, and us believing
together for her miracle. Many
times I’d slip into the other room and pour out my tears and heartache, talk to
a friend or family member that would pray with me and supernatural strength
would come for another day.
I remember mom having me play “If You Want me to” by Ginny
Owens around the clock. She embraced her journey and whatever that entailed.
Mom truly expected to see her healing this side of heaven, but also accepted
whatever trials or circumstance were before her. Through the battle of cancer and chemo, she never complained
and her side effects were extremely terrible. Mom knew her suffering was nothing compared to her Savior’s
on the cross. Would she have
chosen to walk this road? No. But she knew she wasn’t walking it
alone. Her greatest desire was that others would see her life bring God glory. And they did!
The night before she went to be with Jesus, I called David
weary wanting to just come home a few days and he said lets wait for another
day and see how mom is doing. She
took her last breath the next day.
I was lying beside her with my arm wrapped around her frail 58-year old
body, my dad had one of her hands and my brother had her other. I kept whispering in her ear over and
over, “Live!” Many family members
surrounded her bed grieving. We
knew she was in a better place and whole.
But the HOLE she left in all of our lives was HUGE! I believe with all
my heart she had fulfilled her purpose here on earth and He said, “Well
done!” So she went HOME to truly
LIVE!
I was sharing with my friend, Jana yesterday about how most
days are easy, but then there are days that I long deeply for her. She said, “Obviously the memories were
so amazing that her absence is still majorly felt. What a legacy!
Oh that we would all live lives that affected people years after we are
gone.” So I allowed myself to remember
today.
My beautiful mommy,
Mom, you were a picture of inner strength and beauty to
me. You were an extension of
Christ here on earth. I never
heard you complain. You had a lot
of heartaches and difficult situations in your life, but you always had more love
and grace to pour out. It flowed
from you so naturally. You told me
once that when you didn’t feel love, you would ask God to love through you and
He would and then you would. Thank
you so much for that, because many times that is exactly how I get through a
situation. Your faith was steady and never wavered. I know there were financially tight times, but you believed
always in His provision and His promises and you left me with that faith. You served in every capacity and never
looked out for your own needs. You
would stay up late writing papers with me (my least favorite subject as you
knew) and then get up early.
During some seasons you would work at the hospital all night, feed us
and send us to school and then be up ready to receive us at 3:00 and then
repeat that scenario. You wanted to be with us as much as you could. Thank you for instilling that desire in
me! I remember when dad worked
nights how Anthony and I would take turns sleeping with you and you would tell
us stories until we fell asleep. I
know when you began to work longer hours when we were in high school that it was
hard on you and that it wouldn’t have been your first choice. Mom, you worked harder than anyone I
know, truly! Your work ethics were
impeccable and you didn’t ever do less than the best. I know some projects took longer, only because you would
never turn down a phone call to listen, minister or pray for someone. You taught me to enjoy a cup of Earl
Gray and English Breakfast Tea and take a moment for myself. And boy did you
ever teach me what a Nana looks like. I yearn for the day to pour into my grandbabies
as you did. Although, I will never
be able to use that name because that is yours alone! I will never forget the
tea parties under the dining room table with my babies and with your good
china, the endless hours playing on the floor, and hearing the Geraldine
stories that you told me growing up and then your grandchildren (a book one day
I hope). You changed some of them
up from me to them I do believe.
Then in the midst of your busy workweek, you would make quick weekend
trips from Alabama to Texas to see all of us and make memories. You did your best to make all the kids
birthdays. You made every holiday special and loved to decorate! Oh how you
would love our house right now decorated for fall and the Christmases are over
the top just like ours growing up and not to mention all the lights on the
treesJ
The trip I will never forget which you must have known would be your last is
when less than 2 months before you died you made that trip in pain to be at
Hannah’s and Ethan’s birthday. You got so bad you could hardly get off the
couch. That was your grandbabies
last time with you. Mom, thank you
for your tireless sacrifice and for making my children feel like they were the
most important little people on earth. Thank you for sharing our Lord Jesus
Christ with me. You showed me Him
as a Redeemer, Restorer, Provider, Friend, Healer, Lover, and that He will
never let me down.
Mom, thank you for your legacy. I pray that long after I am
gone that my life will affect others as your has. I deeply love you and miss you! Your legacy lives on!
Dance with Jesus today. I
am rejoicing that you are whole.
Your proud daughter, Angelia Michelle
